How to make a decision when you are torn
Being torn usually means both options are genuinely good and you are trying to avoid a loss rather than find a win. Name the loss you can carry, and the choice resolves.
What to actually weigh
You are choosing a loss, not a gain
When both options are good, the deciding factor is which downside you can live with on a bad day, not which upside sounds better on a good one.
Test with the coin
Flip one, and notice the half-second of relief or disappointment before you think. That reaction is information you already had.
Ask what you would tell a friend
People are markedly clearer about decisions that belong to someone else. The distance strips out the fear of being the one responsible.
Frequently asked
How do I decide when both options are good?
Stop comparing upsides — they will stay close. Compare the two downsides and pick the one you would resent less in a year.
Should I trust my gut when making a decision?
Gut is fast pattern-matching on experience you have, which makes it reliable in familiar territory and unreliable in new. Weight it by how often you have been here before.